Saw Blues Brothers 2000. It has some problems... But as usual let me set up my state of mind on this day...
Woke up to find a filmmaker in my house. This fella has made his first flick and has a guarantee to make more films, he came to show me his trailer and to talk. I liked him instantly because... well he was a fellow redhead, though he wasn't fat... nobody's perfect though. He seemed to have that first time film maker fire. It's this look in the eye, a crazed, "I MADE A MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" look. An intolerably bubbly existance, a person who has at long last had a sip of the pool of celluloid... and wants more. You could just feel his... electricity. He has been reading the page for a while now, and felt some... thing... that made him HAVE to show me his trailer.
It was pretty good. I want to see it, so if any of you spies out there in LaLa land have any info on THURSDAY, then by all means let me know.
While he was here, NEWSWEEK photographers showed up, and I didn't want to dismiss this cool glowing filmmaker type, as we were talking about NC-17 and how somebody needs to make a balls to the wall action gorefest and screw the rating... open it wide. We talked about inadequacies in the studio system and the benefits there as well. It was a great conversation. Meanwhile I was doing that whole Madonna... Strike a Pose sorta thing for the Newsweek guy. Actually this was probably one of my best photoshoots simply because I was far far faaaar more looser than I had been before.
As soon as the Newsweek guy was done, Dad and I had to kick everyone out of our house so we could go get my sister and go eat. But first I had to CALL GLEN, because it was his birthday and invite him to come see Blues Brothers 2000. But he was not home. So off to get Dannie we went.
We pick her up and go eat crappy cheap Pizza buffet. Ahhhhhhh crappy cheap Pizza Buffet aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh... While chowing down on greasy pizza I begin to realize that I should be eating 4 whole fried chickens and a side of dry white toast. DAMMIT... Ya see sometimes I tend to get this way. I remember when I was going to see Altman's POPEYE, I demanded to be fed nothing but spinach , which made for nasty feces, but aaaaannnnyyyyway.... We finished eating and headed off for the theater.
We get to the LINCOLN THEATER, where the screening was to take place, and try to find a parking place with the least Pigeon Crap on the ground. Turns out that we were the first to arrive. I'm dying to see this film... you see I had a blast with the script.. the production numbers would be... glorius. I knew it. In the lobby was one of them cool as hell Armageddon Countdown Displays right next to the regular one sheet of Deep Impact. It ain't really that fair is it? I mean seriously the production value of eye catching advertising was MILES apart. I began to wonder if this countdown clock is in sync with all the others across the country. Hmmmmmmmm.
As the line lengthens I realize that NO LINE PEOPLE are here. Boy... that's the first time this has EVER happened. I'm worried. Did they get killed? Was there a massive Spanish-style Incan destruction of the Line People? Maybe they all got fed up with movies, did Desperate Measures do this to them?
I go and call Glen several times. He turned 30 today.. Probably can't hear the ringer anymore. GLEN IT'S THE 'ON/OFF' BUTTON!!!! Damn answering machine!!! I'll razz him... "GLEEEEEEEEN, PUT ON YOUR DEPEEEEENNNDDDSS!!!!!" ahahahahahahaahahahah.... hohohohohohohohohohohohooooo...When Glen was a Senior I was in Junior High... He's ooooooooooooooolllllllldddddddddd!!!!! He's probably chasing Possums...
Suddenly Copernicus arrives, in a NASA shirt. Wow! Copernicus got a job at NASA!!! Uh oh... Copernicus says he doesn't have a job at NASA. bummer... Copernicus and I begin catching up on all my latest adventures, troubles, etc... Time flies... Next thing I know Quint arrives... OH BOY he is suppose to have my US Magazine I'm in. I haven't seen the article yet and I am curious as hell to see if I'm a good guy or a bad guy, and how they said Fat Redhead without saying Fat Redhead. I reach out for it and... he doesn't have my magazzzziiinnne... ARGH.. Oh well.
Next thing we know the ticket jockeys are ushering us in. As I enter the auditorium... I am faced with three choices (this often happens in Betty Boop cartoons) Option 1 has a Blues Brothers Button.... Option 2 has a Blues Brothers 2000 CD... and the Third Option is for a mini-poster. I stretch out my arm and unfurl my fingers in the... Hungarian way... my mind saying "GIVE ME" and a charming smile that lurches across the expanse of my face. Option 2 says, "Yes, I will give YOU the CD!" hahahhaaha, then as I walk away I motion towards the mini-poster dude and his will collapses as the poster is laid into my grasp. Boy that Hungarian Hand thing of Lugosi's is one powerful gesture to have in one's little bag of tricks.
We take our seats and stare at the ANNOYING Coca Cola movie questions. Man, I hate these things, for one, the never get changed out, it's always the same ones, and people that don't know their movie stuff argue back and forth about wrong answers and then when the answer comes up the continue arguing about the validity of the answer and the people that write the questions. Oh... and then there is the "Clap if you are..." Just once I'd love to see slides of poster art for films that have yet to arrive, or scenes from upcoming films, or perhaps vintage movie scenes (without ignorant commentary) and to have it have a cycle that would be MASSIVE, so that if you sit in the auditorium longer than 10 minutes you won't see it repeat.
Sigh... Well then the MARIO THX trailer starts up. Good... they have the sound on correctly, then the Dolby Digital trailer (which is fairly ineffective) begins.
No trailers for Universal films or any other... ARGH!!!
The film begins.
As usual I won't go into plot, but let me try to go through what is wrong with this film.
There is NO SOUL. I read the script, and the script could have been delivered. It could have been made... it could have been made by John (American Werewolf In London & Thriller & the original Blues Brothers) Landis. But it was if he lost Rick Baker's address, like they missed the point of the Blues Brothers.
It's not about the music, that's just an aspect of the universe the Blues Brothers live in. However, the most perfect sequence in this new version was the first one. Nothing is as honest to the first film, than that. There was so much energy, love and soul missing after that. They cut the pathos out of the script, originally the script sort of played Elwood as a sort of 'little tramp' character. Down on his luck, the world as his enemy, nothing to move him forward in life... But they took that away.. he moved on too easy too fast. And well... you can tell that Akyroyd is TRYING to carry the film.
All the periphial characters are shadows of their once kickass coolness. Everyone's hair is too good, everyone's positions in life are better. Instead of a funky diner, there is a BMW dealership. That ain't right. The dirt and grime of Chicago... the flavor of the local life is gone. It's not the absence of Belushi and Candy and Calloway... It's the absence of SOUL that hurts this film.
I enjoyed the movie, it's a musical, I love musicals. There is probably much more music in this film than ever before. But the original BLUES BROTHERS was like Gene Kelly in SINGING IN THE RAIN, where as this BLUES BROTHERS 2000 is like Gene Kelly in XANADU. One is a classic, and the other is a guilty pleasure.
I would love to talk to John Landis for hours, if you know him, have him call me. I want to talk with him about what has happened. He was so glorius through the mid-eighties, but since then... well, it just hasn't worked. I would love to hear what's going through his head, where he is at, etc. I have talked to many reporters in the industry and a lot of them can't let go of the TWILIGHT ZONE incident... and it really does seem to be a before and after situation with him. But I'd really like to hear his thoughts on the matter. I have talked with a filmmaker that lost someone on set before... and it is a sobering thing. The filmmaker I talked to, said it was very hard to get back in the groove, to justify asking another person to risk themselves for 'film'.
But I am distracted. Blues Brothers 2000 has some wonderful music, but really.. that's about it. If you love 'Blues Brothersy music' go see the film. If you want wonderful comedy, pointedly stabbing police humor, gleefully sardonic religious humor, babes with weapons, mega cool car chases, mega cool car leaps or even "a mission from God"... well look elsewhere, because in this film music is the only delivery.
