Kwai Chang Caine Kicks Dick Tracy Out Of Quentin Tarantino's KILL BILL!!!!!

In the greatest moment of geek elation in months... Cooler than me seeing Star Wars Episode 2. Cooler than watching the 3 and one half minutes of Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers footage. Cooler than the awesome might of Guillermo Del Toro's cunning linguist skills in the editing room of BLADE 2. More postively droolarific than that latest Spider-Man trailer. All of that is a deep rooted ingrown hair on the ass of this coolness.

On September 6th, 2001, five days before the world lost its groove and derailed into a reality that I wanted no part of... At the Alamo Drafthouse, I saw the most perfect magical moments that I have ever seen in person. Watching Quentin Tarantino geek out with David Carradine on stage. An all night Kung Fu Marathon with an episode from KUNG FU dividing up each film. With The Original Kwai Chang Caine talking all about the history of KUNG FU.

As the night went on, David loosened up, Quentin got more excited... I began to see David Carradine become one of the coolest people I have ever seen in real life. Quentin brought out of David that awesome sense of bottled fuck juice cool that you would imagine oozing from the pores of the immortals like Bruce Lee and James Dean and Steve McQueen. That night, I pleaded with Tarantino to drop Warren Beatty like a lead weight. Pleaded with him to make David Carradine the character of BILL. I had just read KILL BILL the night before. I was ecstatic. The one problem I had with the script was imagining Warren Beatty in the action scenes. Imagining Warren loosen up, become Zen, become BILL. Looking at David Carradine on that stage with Tarantino... Watching Quentin bringing character moments and aspects out of David... It was pure magic. Electric beyond any and all belief. Without a doubt... It was amongst the greatest moments ever on stage at the Drafthouse, and there have been many great moments on that stage.

Well, the gods... The ones that make things right in this fucked up world of ours. The ones that find a Sam Jackson and place him in a black suit with a white shirt and a jerri curl afro-sheen and a milk shake to boot. The ones that touch Quentin's head and whisper the words, "Robert Forster." Well the Gods... whomever they be... Whispered to Warren Beatty and Beatty decided to pass on the role according to Hollywood Reporter. And in that same report... In that very same glorious fucking paragraph.... It says that they are in negotiations with DAVID "KWAI CHANG CAINE" CARRADINE to takeover the role of BILL in KILL BILL!!!!!

Now I know... I know you folks haven't seen Carradine be great in a film in a long time. In fact I'd say the last time he ruled planet Earth for me was in Walter Hill's THE LONG RIDERS as Cole Younger... and in that film... A God walked on Screen. Before that, it was Frankenstein in DEATH RACE 2000. Well... he kicked a lot of ass in LONE WOLF McQUADE. Folks... I saw something coming out of him... a charisma that I'd never seen. An energy feed going out of Quentin and charging Carradine to a point of divine spark.

KILL BILL has just officially become perfect for me. OH MY FUCKING GOD! I can't believe this just happened. I just came back from DEMONS 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse... 2 nights ago I was talking to Patch about the perfect moments in life, and we mentioned David Carradine/Quentin Tarantino/QT5 KUNG FU NIGHT.

Folks... This will rule... and you don't even realize the magnitude of the imprint that KILL BILL will leave on your collective asses! This... This will leave a mark. Hehehehheehe.... YIP-FUCKING-EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahhaaaaaaa, Way to fucking GOOOOO!!!!!!! HEhehehheehe...